Even the losers…

In keeping with my tradition here (OK, it’s only been three years now), I wanted to share a short essay to celebrate the coming of football season. Prior kickoffs are here and here.

As I’ve said before, nothing says college football quite like a US-versus-Granada, alligator-versus-poodle, William F. Buckley-versus-Mark Green mismatch. Last year saw some real doozies: Kansas defeated Southeastern Louisiana, 62 to zero; Hawaii blasted Northern Colorado, 63 to 6; Clemson hogtied Central Michigan, 70 to 14; and the list goes on.

And there was the singularly rare instance when a cupcake – or a supposed cupcake – took home more than just a hefty paycheck, when Appalachian State went into Ann Arbor, Michigan, and defeated the heavily favored Wolverines, 34 to 32. It is believed that ASU’s victory marked the first time that a lower-division school defeated a ranked upper-division opponent, further testifying to the rareness of such an upset. Of course, App State is not some run-of-the-mill cupcake; it was Michigan’s bad fortune to have scheduled the defending two-time Division 1-AA national champions (the Mountaineers added a third consecutive title at the end of 2007).

For the novice college football fan who might enjoy displays of sadism, there are plenty of paschal lambs ready to be grilled on the gridiron this season. Rivals.com identified University of Tennessee-Chattanooga’s trip to Norman, Oklahoma, as the season’s biggest laugher, and it probably will be. Chattanooga is not even a good 1-AA team; they will be facing one of the deepest, most talented rosters in college football this coming Saturday.

Yes, there surely will be no shortage of games that test the scoreboard operators’ ability to tally the home team’s point total, but every year, or nearly so, there also seems to a “mismatch” that doesn’t stick to the script, where the cupcake is transformed into David and Goliath is felled.

This usually happens when a mediocre or outright bad upper-division school takes on a decent 1-AA program that is used to winning. Back in June, the guys over at In The Bleachers, an entertaining football blog, picked ten games on the 2008 schedule that look promising. Below, I have marked games in red that are too much of a strain on credulity to contemplate; green denotes a 50-50 shot for the underdog.

10. Appalachian State at LSU (Aug 30)
9. Wofford at South Carolina (Sept 6)
8. Delaware at Maryland (Aug 30)
7. South Dakota State at Iowa State (Aug 28)
6. McNeese State at North Carolina (Aug 30)
5. James Madison at Duke (Aug 30)
4. Richmond at Virginia (Sept 6)
3. North Dakota State at Wyoming (Sept 13)
2. New Hampshire at Army (Sept 6)
1. Cal Poly at San Diego State (Aug 28)

Here’s to hoping your team’s early-season cupcake doesn’t upset your stomach.